Do You Believe That Everything Happens for a Reason? 

Holistic Counselling operates on the radical assumption that everything in your life happens for a good reason, including all of your symptoms and suffering. No exceptions. That is why it is called radical. No exceptions. If you admit one exception, you have let yourself off of the hook, and nothing significant will change. Your symptoms will continue on their path and you will seem to be their victim. There are no victims in this world. You cannot in the space of a moment change the events, circumstances and people around you but you can change the story you are telling yourself about it and your reaction to it. You are in control of the story and your response so their can never be any victims. No-one can push your buttons unless your buttons are already there. If someone in your life is treating you badly then you have chosen to be there for a reason and you have to take responsibility for that or you are powerless to change your situation.

Depression, anxiety and unhappiness occur for a reason, but we rarely understand the reason because we are all a little bit in denial about our own stuff. It is so much easier to see what is going on with those around us than it is with ourselves. Lying to ourselves is something we all do from time to time. “I am never upset for the reason I think” is a door-opener for enlightenment and self-growth. The admission of ignorance is necessary if we want to break out of our automatic responses. To stretch our mind even further, we must consider that all symptoms are our friend. Mind-stretching is called curiousity. If we do not arouse our curiousity, we will remain stuck in our lack of awareness and miss the opportunity for growth.

Emotional disturbances, sleep disturbances, phobias, anxiety, depression, anger or any innter turmoil is a wake-up call. Whatever you think your problem is, its generally not that. You may think you have a smoking, eating, gambling or drinking problem but the truth is those things are only the symptoms of the real problem. If you mis-diagnose your condition, you will mis-treat it.

Our typical reaction patterns to anxiety, depression or inner turmoil are what I call Self-Rescue Strategies or Self-Medication Strategies. Feeling bad automatically triggers any of several Reactive Rescue Strategies that we may have in our repertoire. Get acquainted with your Self-Rescue and Self-Medication Strategies.

Such rescue plans are automatic, habitual, reactionary, compulsive, impulsive, and self-deceptive strategies designed to alleviate our symptoms. Eventually these automatic rescue plans or self-medicating reactions crystallize into addictions, neuroses, and other personality patterns of avoidance and control.

Some typical Self-Rescue Strategies or Self-Medicating Strategies are: 

                 1. Addictions - The most common self-rescue plans
                     are the various addictions and compulsions. We try to
                     comfort and self-medicate ourselves with food,
                     drink, drugs, sex, pornography, work, shopping, and other addictive
                      behaviors, including prescription drugs.

                 2. Avoidance, escape, procrastination, flight strategies

                 3. Manipulation, control, intimidation, threats, violence, 
                      arguments, and passive-aggressive behaviour

                 4. Scapegoat, blame and projection

                 5. Psychosomatic, sick, poor me, confused, crazy-making,
                     attention-seeking, obsessive compulsive behaviours, phobias

These habitual rescue strategies do not work well but we tend to keep using our adaptive rescue plans whether they work or not. 

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